A new start....

Hi I'm Ed. I'm 18. And I'm from the UK.
This is my first time blogging in over a year. Thought I'd give it a fresh new start. As I will with my life. Time to start over. Rethink the way I am. And improve myself as a person.
Things have gone crap in my life recently. So crap that I felt I would start blogging again.
I live in Hornsea in East Yorkshire with my mum and my brother.
I have recently been made single after a six month relationship fell apart. I find myself partly to blame for its demise as I'll explain later. I miss her. A lot.  And I still hold very strong feelings for her. I haven't really been myself since. I've  been upset, irrational, haven't been sleeping well, haven't been eating well and I've just generally been behaving like a prat. But I have to move on, otherwise as Butters Stotch from South Park says: "There'll be heck to pay! Heck I tell ya!" It will be hard. But life is hard so I've got to take it on the chin and get on with my life.
I've currently finished Sixth Form and am now awaiting my exam results. I hope to study history at either Leicester or Northumbria university. That's if I get the grades of course.
I suffer from depression. Quite a serious type of depression too. The smallest thing can set me off. My self esteem and confidence hit an all time low. I become very selfish. I shut myself off from the rest of the world. I  lash out at others who are trying to help. And I have often thought about ending it all. It is because of these feelings that ,I feel, my recent relationship collapsed. Because I can't control my emotions. I am currently seeking counseling to help combat my depressions. Thankfully (due mainly to the hard work of my GP) I will be receiving counseling soon. Hopefully things might start looking up.
Summer has finally arrived. Haven't got much planned. Hopefully spend some time with friends and keep me sane. Hope to refuel my childhood love for Lego. And hopefully after results I'll be jetting off to Spain with a very good friend for a Spanish road trip.
In my old blogs I used to do a recommendation of the week thing. It's only fitting I end this blog on a high note. So I'll give two recommendations. One song and a film that I have watched/heard and loved.
The song is The Bird and The Worm by The Used. Now there are two versions of this song, both of which I love. There's the normal version of the song with the lyrics and there's the Instrumental version. Now the first time I heard this song was for the trailer for Clash of the Titans, I didn't realise it was a band. I just thought it was some music the film company had put together for the trailer. But when my brother came home from uni a couple of months ago he brought with him all The Used albums on his hard drive. When I heard the song I instantly fell in love. The normal version is just your run-of-the-mill great rock song. The lyrics are great and the music, which I will come onto, is brilliant. The thing with the instrumental version is that even though it is pretty much the same song it sounds so much more different. With the lyrics, as I've said, it is your run-of-the-mill great rock song. But take away those lyrics and it becomes so much more epic as a song. And it makes you understand why it was used for the Clash of the Titans trailer.
The film that I'm gonna recommend this week is Where The Wild Things Are. The film, based on a children's story, tells the story of Max who after an argument with his mother runs away and sails away to an island where creatures known as "the Wild Things" live. The film is simply stunning. It has great performances by all it's cast. The Wild Things themselves look fantastic. It has truly been a long time since I've seen a film that has kept me engaged and entertained as Where the Wild Things Are did. The film is a masterpiece and I would greatly recommend anyone to see this film.
Well that's really it for my fresh start blog. Probably write another one sometime in the next week. So to end this blog I'll leave four links. One is the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsZXKLtDb-k
Another one is the trailer for Clash of the Titans to show how effective The Bird and The Worm is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6CJenNMsb4 
And the final two are the two versions of the song itself.
Music Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12dBCgAo-RA
Instrumental:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZJkJWxPbig
So until next time. I hope you all stay safe. Have a good weekend. And I'll see you next time.
Much Love
Ed
xxx